Saturday, March 06, 2004 MINDWORM -- ‘He basically got inside my head in a matter of minutes’ John Colston – Head of Entertainment AOL – WIRED -- ‘There are a lot of really, really cool people walking past you and crowded up against you that you never get to know’ Dan Hurley – 60 second novelist -- ..1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39, 40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59.. ...Imagine your life story – conceived and typewritten on location- drafted in a little more than 60 seconds? -Meet script-dynamo Dan Hurley- who may claim to be the world’s most prolific novelist. In a 1999 interview Hurley professed to have written approximately 25,000 novels. Dressed as an early 20th century newsman- with a physical appearance reminiscent of Peewee Herman- Hurley appears an unlikely candidate to represent the Goliath of the 60 second novel. At the start of his career 21 years ago, Hurley- who ‘loves to interact with people’- could be found sitting at Michigan Ave Chicago- with a Royal typewriter on his lap, writing short stories for curious passersby- compiled after a short initial conversation. Almost from the start he knew he was on to something, people crowded around him, fascinated by the new phenomenon and soon a local legend was established. Not long after his Chicago debut, Dan Hurley decided he was ready for a greater challenge. He ventured to test his new found skill on the streets of New York where he received an equally charmed reception.' I sat on the street in New York all week and I made like $1,200, got on two TV stations and I said 'That's it.' I quit my job with the American Bar Association and moved to New York City.’ Since then Hurley’s career snowballed. He featured on MSNBC-The Today Show- and CNN- served as an online host for AOL, and has become a frequent guest at corporate gatherings, trade shows, colleges and bar mitzvahs alike. Travelling across the US- Hurley, who considers himself both a journalist and a special event entertainer- has been described as ‘subtle and congenial’ by corporate execs, and ‘one who possesses of a poet’s soul’ by his largely female audience. Dan Hurley has a down to earth explanation for his fans’ admission. He grins- ‘It’s a ridiculously good way to meet girls’. But he adds reflectively -‘My goal is to revive the moribund and calcified state of modern literature.’ -- Transcript from AOL Greenhouse: Hurley Dan: Why the ‘Ms, Desire’ name? Are you the very incarnation of passion and lust? MsDesire: yes. I have been told Hurley Dan: By whom, if I may be so bold? MsDesire: By friends and lovers. Hurley Dan: How many lovers have there been? MsDesire: 15 or so,I’m very open ... inside and out. Hurley Dan: 15? Wow, that is a lot for a woman! OnlineHost: Okay, Mr Novelist, I think you need a cold shower. MsDesire: That’s from my youth also. Hurley Dan: And why so many? Just all that desire I suppose? MsDesire: Well, I feel you can love more than one person in life. Hurley Dan: So how many times have you been divorced? MsDesire: 1 Hurley Dan: You HAVE been divorced? I was just guessing. And why did it go sour? MsDesire: Married too young. He was faithful ... although I wasn’t. Hurley Dan: How young were you when you married? And how old are you now? MsDesire: I was 19. Now I’m 35. Hurley Dan: Wow, so YOU weren’t faithful? Are you still taht full of desire these days? MsDesire: I have no problem with age. I don’t look my age. Hurley dan: I bet you don’t beautiful. One more question. Are you steady with anyone now? MsDesire: I’m married again. But he knows that I’m not faithful. Hurley Dan: So you’re STILL not? And he doesn’t care? MsDesire: He’s all right with it, really. Strange, huh? Online Host: Did you suck all the hormones out of him? Is he comatose? What’s the deal? MsDesire: LOL Hurley Dan: Or is he just doing the same? MsDesire: No, he has never cheated. I just need more, I guess. Hurley Dan: Incredible. Well now it’s time.. Online Host: Yes, it’s time for your story. MsDesire. By the way, what’s your real name? MsDesire: Sharon. Online Host: Keep quiet now, while the great novelist writes your story. (Pause) Hurley Dan: THE WOMAN WHO DESIRED IT ALL Once upon a time a little tigress was released upon the world. A she-bear...A woman for all ages. All ages of men, that is. She felt all the passion...all the DESIRE...all the WANTING. And she did not stop herself from indulging in what she wanted. And what she wanted was men. Big men. Small men. Hairy men. And baldies. As a youngster, she thought she would settle down and be good. But it was futile. Because she wasn’t being true to herself, ‘Why should I limit myself to what SOCIETY wants me to do?’ And so Sharon gave full vent to all her passions and desires. She went after men like Donald Trump went after money. She became the Walt Whitman of desire. And if every one of us could be so wise...to accept who we are...not battle ourselves to be like what we THINK we should be...there just might be a lot more sex going on in this fine world of ours. THE END. MsDesire: Dan, I love you. OnlineHost: Dan loves you too, Sharon. More than you or his wife will ever know. -- Transcript from: -FAST FICTION- By Rogier van Bakel – Wired November 1995 The two stories featured below are examples of 60 second novels written by Dan Hurley -- ‘At a recent bar mitzvah, I saw a woman clutching her nine-month-old baby at one of the tables. "Why did you bring your infant?" I asked. "Robby would have been very upset if I hadn't," the mother replied. "Who's Robby?" "The baby." Unable to resist, I wrote the following: -- ROBBY'S TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE Robby was sitting in his psychiatrists' office. He was an overweight accountant--sweating, balding, smoking cigarettes nonstop. ‘So, Robby,’ said the psychiatrist. ‘Tell me about your early years.’ ‘Well, doc,’ said Robby, ‘you see, it all started when I was nine months old. There I was, this helpless little guy with these incredibly cute blue eyes. I was teething. And I was nursing at my mother's breast. And then, one night, my whole world changed. They said it was a bar mitzvah. They tried to explain, but how could I understand? I was a kid! And there they left me with a stranger! With bottled milk! With no one to soothe my aching teeth! I screamed! I cried! I couldn't sleep, and then—‘ The psychiatrist shook his arm. ‘It's okay, Robby, it's okay,’ said the psychiatrist, still shaking his arm, shaking and shaking until suddenly Robby opened his eyed and realized it was all a dream. His beautiful wife, Fiona, was waking him up. He was the head of a major corporation. He was young, fit, happy, healthy. ‘Thank God,’ he said to Fiona, ‘that my Mom took me to Bradley Steinfeld's bar mitzvah!’ -- ‘On January 31, 2001, I wrote stories at a party held by the Exton Mall Retailers Association in Pennsylvania, where a guy named Fred told me that he was hoping to get some peace and quiet so he could collect his thoughts after the Christmas rush. Here's how I imagined that happening: -- FRED COLLECTS HIS THOUGHTS Fred's thoughts were scattered throughout a 50-square-mile area in greater Philadelphia. He didn't know where to find them. Life had been so hectic, what with managing the company he works for, that he realized all his thoughts had left him completely. They'd been shot right to hell. So Fred hopped in his car and drove out to the woods. He found a quiet place, where a stream gurgled by, and birds chirped. A few chipmunks played nearby. An occasional leaf fell to the ground. And then, after he had sat quietly for a long while, he heard it. Crunch. Ca-runch. It was a thought,slowly creeping up on him. It approached slowly over the dried leaves. After an hour it jumped up on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. Soon Fred heard another coming. And then another. The thoughts talked to him and told him all they knew. Then they lined up in perfect formation, row after row, perfectly ordered. He took out his shoe box that he had brought for just this purpose, and put each thought in its place. At last his thoughts were collected again. He went home, renewed and invigorated. -- ‘Robby’s Traumatic Experience’ and ‘Fred Collects His Thoughts’ by Dan Hurley – From: ‘The 60-second Novelist’ The Official Website of Dan Hurley ‘Your life story in a minute! http://www.hstrial-dhurley.homestead.com/ http://www.instantnovelist.com Sources: Wired magazine / Princeton Packet -- posted by Walter at 3/06/2004 Sunday, February 29, 2004 VICODIN HEROES -- You’re not alone New heroes will soon dominate billboards- That crush engrained assumptions of character and grit We’re fed up with Pharaohs deLuxe- They will be phantoms soon Eject old role models Deflate Inflatables- Hunting & fishing- Backwards talking Fingers sticky- PR falsetto- Libertines- Corporate gravity Valets parking- Coking Cola- Nuking Nike- I-be-am We’re taking over Can anything be bigger than the dreamcrusher- The meatgrinder- The rock pool- Change genuine? -We can- Engage friends real- Dyke van Dick- Cafe Rock Hard Hollywood goes to Frankie- Dan Steely- Air Bel Cadillac- Pack Rat – York New- Trick a lapdancer- Shop Gun for Osama- Idols stripped naked- Timing time again- Return of the Sirens Dream American- Release is a thing- not a tit -We can- Build a society intent on looking up- You had friends once- You’ll find new challenges- Heads collide-Yours is a shining offshoot- Mind triumphs over body- Roar brainy- Become a dissident of integrity- Creativity equals because- A hero doesn’t worry- Security needs no guard An era is coming of age- Life is a calculator that can’t be reset -We can- Wake up reborn- Hungover- Revel at your own nightmares on DVD- No fads- Director’s cut- Can you assume possession of a singular gift? Ditch all archetypes- God knows you’re minute- Think of velvet- And nothing hurts- Fame is a transient resume- Nominate yourself- Define the olympics of afterthought- Unzip the genie at last- -We can- (c) Walt 2004 -- REMIX of: -‘Time for Heroes’ - ‘Vegas on Vicodin’ The Face magazine – February 2004 -- posted by Walter at 2/29/2004